I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
