I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
