just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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