After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
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Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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