I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
