Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
