is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
