We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You are a genius and a whore.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
