Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
