Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
