Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
