'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
