I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
