we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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