Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
