I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
