Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
