just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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