Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Bring me that man meat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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