We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
