I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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