Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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