shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
