How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize