is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
