capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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