Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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