Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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