I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
