she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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