You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize