what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize