He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just had sex on a roof
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
