Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
