I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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