Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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