i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
