my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
a search helicopter?!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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