Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just pee around me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
