Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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