All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
