Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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