there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
