hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
