we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
