I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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