Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
