It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
