Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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