ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
