I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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