Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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