Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize