Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
