I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How does one acquire holy water?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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