I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
