either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
