I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
