from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
