I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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